Thirty something Mexican Curious. Se habla español. Atea, roja, feminista, duermevelas, lectora. Books, reading, movies, feminism, photography, illustration, cats +
Have you ever felt:
- Insecure because your body wasn’t big enough, strong enough, or slim enough?
- Pressured to be tough, aggressive and competitive beyond your comfort zone?
- Ashamed of your interest in cooking, fashion, dance, or some other activity because you were told it made you “gay” or “a girl”?
- Offended by media representations of helpless adult men who cannot feed, clothe, or bathe themselves without the help of a woman?
- Burdened by expectations to objectify women, have sex with many women and be sexually aggressive?
- Helpless when dealing with feelings of sadness, hurt, and shame because you were taught to believe that emotions show weakness and that “real men help themselves”?
- Confused at how to be sensitive and kind but still be sexually desirable?
- Alone when you suffered an injury but had to “handle it”?
- Afraid of being called a “sissy,” “wimp,” “f*g,” “p*ssy,” or “b**ch,”?
- Ambivalent about what it means to be a “real man”?
If even one or two of these is true, then you need feminism.
Why Feminism Helps Men
Feminism is about changing the gender roles, sexual norms, and sexist practices that limit you and punish you when whenever you deviate from them.
And the experiences listed above (and more) do exactly that: tell you what a “man” should be and punish you when you want to act differently.
Men who need to have their heads patted and their egos catered to were never going to be good allies in the first place.
Let’s talk about this quote for a second.
I remember I attended a college lecture about what feminism means in America and how imperial politics and economic gaps between the West and East render what women want and consider pivotal to their feminism as conflicting and even antagonistic to each other.
My feminism, first and foremost, will always be anti-imperialism.
Imperial politics are dangerous and the very essence of narcissism. Imperial politics demonstrated within a feminist frame usually goes as follows: the most privileged women, ie. those who have access to technology, representation, occupy a particular media-friendly image or ideology and have access to those in higher slots in society are allotted platforms to speak about their experiences as women and without question, this gets presumptuously labelled “women’s experiences”. Being that women who are globally bestowed the highest tier are usually allowed such room to speak, their minimal struggles are then homogenized as the quintessential female experience and misogyny is wholeheartedly announced a tangible issue that can be easily eradicated out of modern Western society.
Its no accident that women of color, women in occupied regions and those who face mass political or economic repression and their words which don’t satisfy neoliberal, imperialist gaze are deemed anti-progressive, race baiters, backwards, terrorist apologists, etc. Our complex, multi-faceted struggles within a white supremacist empire tap into too many accepted status quos for the average American moderate. It forces those who legitimize the war on terror and view racism as an entity of the past to confront their own unsightly prejudices and the systematic brutality their nations enacts on various global societies, as well as within its borders. Its easier to find (and fabricate) any reason to demonize the likes of Trayvon Martin and his family for his own tragic demise or deem young Yemeni children necessary collateral damage for “the greater good” than to examine what other oppressions beyond misogyny exist that unquestionably burden the lives of otherized communities, including and especially the women in said communities.
Power feminism expects women to unanimously rejoice in the presidential election of Hillary Clinton, while her administration carries out the same murderous policies as her predecessors. Power feminism labels any legitimate criticism of influential women as inherent egregious misogyny. Power feminism devalues the loss of women’s lives abroad, while infantizling their independent resistance and stripping their agency by shamelessly declaring intervention as saving them. Power feminism within an imperialistic frame needs the hyper-demonization of otherized communities to justify its occupation. Power feminism can be even more dangerous than ruthless misogyny because of its insidious nature and lack of culpability.
THIS POST IS GOLDEN (via wocinsolidarity)
If you claim to be a feminist and you shame girls for wanting to do traditional things like take their husband’s last name or be a house wife then you are doing it all completely wrong.
Feminism isn’t an elite group who defeats gender norms, it’s a group who accepts ALL women’s choices.
A few rights given to women in Islam, a good 1,400+ years ago, when women were viewed as completely subservient to men, and people practiced female infanticide:
- Owning, Managing, and Maintaining Property
- Custody of Children
- Access to Education
- Choice of Spouse
- Keeping One’s Maiden Name After Marriage
- Equal Participation in the Political Process
- Spiritual Equality
The United Nations granted women these rights in the Declaration of Human Rights. In 1948. When many countries still had not given women the right to vote. In fact, over a thousand years after the death of Prophet Mohammad (pbuh), in 1586, French Catholics were still debating whether or not women possessed souls.
I’m so sick and tired of people who don’t practice Islam telling me about my religion. You really think millions of women have been coerced into believing in a tradition that views them as subservient? Get real.
A girl in my Sociology class turns around during a class activity on goals to start a conversation with me. Her opening line is: ‘I want to get married.’ I nod and smile. She does not ask me my goals, just continues telling me the sort of guy she’d like to be with and how many kids she’d like. Thoughtfully, she adds, ‘My mom told me to meet someone and marry them. You don’t wanna date around because you wanna be fresh for the guy and not a….you know what.’
My cousin’s Facebook ‘About Me’ lists things she would like in a man. There is nothing about her or the things she does, only qualities she finds attractive. ‘Looking for someone who can play the guitar and cook a great dinner,’ she wrote. I can hear her bubbly, singsong voice while reading it. She is thirteen years old and has told me that girls ‘oughta only kiss their husbands and that’s it.’ When I ask her what she wants to be when she’s older she says, ‘Married.’
My male friend tells me that he has no problem with what girls do, but that he would not date a girl who’s ‘been around’ because she’d be ‘dirty.’ I wonder if each time someone touches you, a part of you is soiled. If there are piles of dirt in the spaces where others’ fingers once rested. In the shower, I try to scrub the smell of dirt from myself, but come out, still polluted, with red scratch marks all over me.
Being a ‘you know what’ taught me some things: that I do not want to be touched by somebody who will judge my past. That I am not a tally book, with others’ names burned into me. If you have to label me as something, let it be a human being.